Recovery

My journey toward sobriety and through recovery from alcoholism has been full of trial and error, courage, patience and willingness. The ongoing road of growth in recovery is fraught with challenges, the most daunting of which being the moments when I am tempted to drink. Despite the many consequences (whether physical, emotional or spiritual) I have faced in the past due to my consumption of alcohol, temptations and desires still arise and I HAVE to take action in order to protect my sobriety.

The tools of action I have collected in my tool box were suggested to me by a variety of sources including substance abuse treatment centers I have spent time in, individual therapy sessions and most predominantly, the rooms of alcoholics anonymous.

As soon as a temptation arises I pause and breathe. I try to use my senses to become aware of the present moment. Nothing is more grounding to me than my breath. Taking a second to separate my body from my thoughts is my foundation for walking through a temptation unscathed.

After a pause and breath, I usually check in with my basic physical and emotional needs using the HALT technique. I ask myself if I am Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? If Yes, to any of those questions, addressing that need first usually gets me away from relapse.

Reaching out for support from another sober friend or family member is also a very effective way to separate myself from temptations. I really don’t like talking on the phone, so for me, I usually send out a text to a trusted support network, honestly sharing about what I am thinking and feeling regarding the craving or desire to drink. Staying open and honest with EVERYONE has been one of the most important principles to my long term sobriety. Supportive relationships not only keep me accountable, but often help remind me of the heavy burden of guilt and shame that inevitably follows a relapse and all the harm and chaos I ignite around me; a fact I am unable to consider in the tempting moment.

Changing my environment is also a simple, yet very effective way for me to navigate a temptation. Often, the physical setting I am in has the most powerful impact on my emotions and behavior whether at a family event, a bar, sporting event, music show, or any place where the majority is consuming alcohol. Many times I have had to leave social situations early or step away to go for a walk just to create distance from myself and that desire (or my increased anxiety that usually results in temptation). I have recently set a boundary with myself that I cannot attend large family events alone, without my sober husband or other sober support, because it becomes too tempting. This may not be the case for my entire life but it is my truth today. The farther away I am physically from the temptation, the less power it has over me.

One of the most important things I have learned throughout my journey and the last thing I will share is the continuous practice of self compassion. Just because I have the strong desire to drink and the temptation to disrupt my continuous sobriety does not mean I am failing or defective. I am human and my insides are affected by my outsides just like everyone else. I have accepted I am powerless over alcohol but have chosen to not be defeated by it.

Anytime I overcome a moment of temptation, I try to personally celebrate my success, no matter how small it may seem. Every time I choose sobriety, I am making a positive step toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. It is so rewarding to recognize and acknowledge my progress, and be proud of the growth I am experiencing each day as a sober woman.