Addiction Shame Cycle

We talk a lot here about how extreme addiction is. If you fully grasp the scale of what we’re talking about, then it can feel pretty hopeless. Let me articulate this as simply as I can. Please know this is just my understanding. Your mileage may vary with this perspective.

Addiction is chemical. Your brain desires its addiction as a tool, just like it needs sugar to function, the addiction is something the brain uses to trigger certain brain chemistry that it genuinely needs. The chemistry becomes a problem when it phases from “tool” to “addiction”. But your brain asks harder for certain things when it needs those chemicals. Anyone who’s ever “really needed” a cup of coffee can comprehend this. But it extends to concepts like sugar (did you know you’re less likely to resist sugary foods when your brain is tired?) and protein and everything else. The brain will reduce your will-power until you give in eventually. Those who exercise will-power well, feed their brain with other tools, like sleep, exercise, and other forms of rest.

But it doesn’t end there. Your brain also begs for tools harder when it’s hurting. And an addict’s mind is always hurting. Addiction, as an act, is filled with tons of unhealthy mentality around it. One of the strongest emotions tied to addiction is shame. Shame causes your brain to seek out some tool to get away from that feeling. The feeling hurts, just like (believe it or not) complex math problems, or stressful arguments. Many of us seek out a way to get away from that feeling–an escape.

An addict’s escape is their addiction. And herein lies the problem: the addiction is also a source of shame for them. You can see where this is going. Their ashamed of their addiction, so they seek out their addiction for relief from their shame, which leads to more shame. This isn’t a logic issue. Their brain is fighting them. They can know in their head, and it makes no difference, because their willpower is being annihilated.

So now you know how hopeless it is. This is why it’s not about the lies. It’s not about the stealing. It’s not about how they feel about your relationship. It’s about their brain chemistry working against them. So, then if it’s hopeless, what’s the point of me writing about it? Well, obviously, because it’s not hopeless.

There is and can only be one answer to break out of a hopeless cycle. The one and only source of hope. The one and only source of true transformation–mind body and soul. You can call it a higher power. I’ll just call it God. And since we just passed easter, and I’m feeling a bit cheeky, I’ll refer to God as Jesus.

Happy Easter everybody! I’ll be praying for you.